As with all prospective calls, I like to get to know them, so I went to check it out Esmerlyn Valdez and I was greeted by 22 year old Craig Monroe. I might be crazy about that computer. I went to look at Craig Monroe’s highlights (that’s how crazy I am), then I looked at Esmerlyn’s, and I can’t stop seeing the similarities. To further research this nonsense, I went to Craig Monroe’s Wiki page and found this:
That should be a quick “light-hearted anecdote” in “holy crap, it’s dark” in a one-episode story. So, Esmerlyn is a Wizard of Power, here’s what Itch said, “A quick look at Valdez’s results tells you that this guy has been producing, producing above-average runs-created at all levels and 76 percent better in 72 games at High-A this season. At 6’2” 181 pounds he’s allowed to wait, Valdez can’t wait. I like that he mostly uses that good to punish pitches at the moment but can see a future where he uses it to increase his pitch selection to 11, and I’d like to hit Gray eleven times. Okay, not cool! Esmerlyn has 10 homers in 158 ABs this year at Triple-A, while hitting .253 with a 21.1 K%, which tells me he has a Launch Angle problem. He maintains a 17 BB% and, at 22 years old, could hit 30 homers as soon as next year in the majors. He’s not 100% sure of playing time, but if we think he can only deal with lefties, he deserves to be added to multiple leagues for power. He won’t be in the Buy column this afternoon, because he’s here. Now, let’s just hope no one connects her with Craig Monroe again. Anyway, here’s what I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Braxton Ashcraft – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 2.89. He has a 2.88 ERA in 125 career innings. That seems good. [thinks for a millisecond] Yes! Good! Thanks for the help, mind!
Brandon Lowe – 2-for-4 with his 13th homer, hitting .256. I expected Lowe to be high on Player Rater among 2nd basemen, at least in the top five. He’s not (right now, I don’t think he’s going overnight either.) I’m surprised to see JJ Wetherholt (0-for-4, hitting .239) in the top five, as he’s been cool in May, but it comes down to what I say, “When a guy has power/speed, it’s hard not to have value.” That’s not pithy, but it’s true.
Henry Davis – 1-for-3 with his 3rd homer. Good news for Joe Pesci’s dream team, “Hey, How Ya Doin’ Hendry?”
Ivan Herrera – 2-for-4, 2 runs and his 6th homer, 2nd homer in three games, hitting .262. Fun fact! The iVan is a small Apple van that doubles as a personal home computer.
Dustin May – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 5.00. Dustin May and it’s time I tell the Cougs it’s time. Coming to Gettin’ Me A Beer June!
Robby Snelling – Tommy John goals. Surgery, not for ex-player or underwear. Hey, if your last name is John, don’t name your son Tommy. We’ve all run out of Tommy Johns. We are full!
Sandy Alcantara – 6 IP, 6 ER, ERA at 4.00. I watched the first inning homer to Megahertz, and I thought, “Wow, now Sandy’s throwing meatballs, huh?
Owen Caissie – 1-for-2 with his fourth homer, hitting .210. I can’t hear Owen without thinking of Trow Mama From the Train. Can anyone help with this atrocity?
Kyle Stowers – 2-for-4 with his 2nd and 3rd homers. “I’ll fill his pockets with coins and throw him into the river—Stop!
Spencer Strider – 6 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.00. All the runs have come on three solo shots, because someone values the xFIP stats.
Michael Harris II – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 10th and 11th homers, three homers in the last three games. They call him Michael Harris II! pharmacy ad prompt voice, “Because he’s hitting a two-run hitter, the downside is Braves management, whoever they are, randomly demoted him even if he’s supposed to be a two-hole hitter. And, II, it’s in the name.”
Mike Yastrzemski – 3-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 3rd homer, and 2nd homer this week, and he’ll be in the Buy column this afternoon, because Yaz tre hotski [adjusts beret].
George Springer – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer, 2nd homer in four games. A hand shuffles out of the dirt. “Oh! No Zombino! Not again!” A manicurist opens a shop in a dirty area and starts doing zombie nails. “Wow, it’s weird.”
Carlos Rodon – 5 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 4.15. VinWins mentioned yesterday in the comments how the Yankees have been enemies in the top 100 more than any other team (10 times). The Yanks haven’t been this strong since before Fritz Peterson and Mike Kekich.
Spencer Jones – He chose to return to the children. I wonder if the Yankees would trade him for Miguel Andujar.
Eduardo Rodriguez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.24. Not that I took anything away from him, I mean before taking everything away from him, this was like a Streamonator dream. Dream expert.
Jose Soriano – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks, ERA at 2.44. Putting him just behind EdRod, I note that EdRod’s ERA is actually better than Soriano’s. If it’s any consolation, everything else about Soriano is pretty good. Well, not his team. But everything else.
Luis Severino – 7 IP, 2 ER, 3 hits, zero walks, 10 Ks, ERA at 4.23. You know what I watched immediately with Severino, right? C’mon, it’s obvious. It rhymes with gnome/ook stilts. That’s right! home/away split, and Severino is best on the road. [makes mental note to trademark stilts for gnomes]
Cade Cavalli – 7 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks, ERA at 3.86. Interesting basic numbers from Cade. A low (some would say suppressed) HR/9, and the lowest ground balls from last year (not good for low homers allowed), but here’s where things get a little sideways, his BABIP is .367. So, unlucky in BABIP and lucky in homers equals…? Average 3.87 ERA pitcher, he is not. That’s nice. Call him Popeye because he says, “I yam what I yam.” (No sweet potatoes were eaten in the making of this article.)
David Peterson – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks, ERA at 5.03. A long season ERA gives an inaccurate impression. In May, he pitched 18 IP, and allowed 5 ER, that’s a 2.50 ERA. The hitting was good again at 10.6 K/9, and I have Peterson on the league team (not happily after his April), and I can’t in good conscience recommend him without the Streamonator. However, I am one person, obviously.
Dillon Dingler – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer. Up here in the back row of the top floor, I’m fielding questions about why I’m dressed as the poop emoji, since these people have never heard of the Dingler Danglers Fan Club before. I wish I had my friends in the outfield bleachers, hanging out together.
Casey Mize – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 hits, zero walks, 4 Ks, ERA at 2.47. Four straight starts in 6 IP and 2 or fewer earned runs, and the batter can’t slump or hit his split. His speed is down (94 to 93), but the numbers underneath are all good. Not a 2.47 ERA pitcher, but solid enough in any league. His “serviceable pitcher in any league” bone is linked to his “8.5+ K/9 and a minimum of 2+ BB/9” bone.
Joey Cantillo – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 3.05. Since I was just looking at Mize, let me sum it up for Cantillo: Mize is better. Cantillo has a lot of upside, but almost none in his current situation. 23 and The results come back Cantillo has more in common with Shane Baz than Mize. Baz’s cousin. A Bazin, that is, he can drown you. (You don’t find puns anywhere else like the writer has hit his head against the wall one too many times.)
Patrick Bailey – 1-for-3 with his second homer. After the game, he said he was going to hit hard in San Fran, but Posey said to him, “I’m the only hitter in San Fran who will ever hear the crowd cheer.” He said as he rubbed Bailey’s chest with his index finger to emphasize each word.
