What is the most annoying thing a teenager can do? I go with “I’m not touching you,” when they’re like an inch away from you. It’s just annoying. Another annoying top? If you’re crazy, they know you’re crazy, and you say, “No, I’m not crazy,” and they say, “Ooh, you’re so crazy! Actually, that might not be a kid, that might be me trying to piss off my wife. Poor Cougs, you married a 15-year-old. Hey, you’re like one of those Netflix documentaries where the teacher and his student are running around together and all the boys in the boy’s life are like, “I’m going to go, guys!” and the girl’s friends. they’re like, “You’re cute,” and the teacher’s husband is like, “This sucks, dude, I loved her, and she ran off with Kyle’s best friend!” Any hoo! Samad Taylor? Hey, you Samad bro! I’m not touching you! Ooh…Samad! He talked about this on this week’s podcast. Ramon Laureano is out for a year and Samad Taylor is up and playing as Samad’s man. He has speed, too, in Triple-A, going 7/9/.319 in 188 ABs with a 17.6 K%. The batting is up a bit, and he’s a speed player, but he can’t beat Laureano and Laureano was drafted as the fifth all-around defender. Taylor is also the only player to hit for the Padres. I could see him catching him in any league, unless you spit on yourself. Well, you went crazy bro! Anyway, here are some players you can buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
PSYCHE! This post was released a week ago to Patreon members. It will be released year round on Patreons, so if people are jumping on you, it’s because they paid $10. Anyway, Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell:
BUY
Rodolfo Duran – Freddy Fermin just got distracted and thought he was the first baseman for the Dodgers, and, while he’s out and wondering where his big chiclet teeth are, Duran is catching the Padres and he’s strong.
Jonah Heim – The A’s have an incredible amount of rotation for their backup catcher now. Am I the only one on the Bing Bong Express? Sounds like there’s room for you.
Josh Bell – These are labeled as Buys, but they are Grabs. They are “Take them because this guy is hot” players. People understand this, right? Because sometimes I hear someone say, who can buy this guy? You don’t buy them like you did with your Subaru.
Willi Castro – The Cuban dictator, Fidel Castro, used to call his cigar Willi Castro, and he used to call his pipe tobacco. This is from Wikipedia. Any hoo! Willi Castro, on the other hand, ended up on fire. It actually doesn’t just sound like the Rockies’ random hitting is hot for the week, it’s true. Next week, it’s your turn, TJ Rumfield!
Paul Goldschmidt – If in March the Yankees thought they were going to rely on Au Shizz so much, they would have thought they were doomed, and there is still time to be abandoned, but Goldy was solid (and the team).
Is Clemens – I wonder if the Twins trade Clemens this trade deadline. You can think of many groups that would be interested. Yankees, one. Maybe the Astros. Jays on offense? Maybe the Red Sox—Okay, now I’m thinking about teams that have jerseys ready to sell.
Brice Matthews – Second base prowess helps Matthews’ fantasy value. It doesn’t hurt that he was at the top of the 7-day Player Rater as well. And, well, hmm…that would be it.
Alika Williams – Think Shohei in the A’s…[wavy lines indicating a dream sequence] Wow, I can’t believe Shohei didn’t pass Barry Bonds’ home run record. Still, he has 700 homers in 240 at-bats, with more than half a season left…[wavy lines ending dream sequence] Alika is a great example of how important Bing Bong Stadium can be. I’m not sure if Alika Williams would have been drafted in an AL-Only league if he was in, say, the Royals, but for the A’s? Guy has a mixed league value of 12 teams.
Colt Keith – This is actually after one game. Also, it was the Most Random Three Home Run Game of all time. Technically, Scooter Gennett’s was a four-homer game, so it’s not the same.
Daniel Schneemann – With JoJoRam going Bye-ByeRam, Daniel Schneemmaann should have some playing time and has been hot. “And it was always hot” is an interesting part, because Gabriel Arias came back, and, well, it’s okay! Over time, looking at the Rangers’ depth chart, I just saw that they moved up a guy named Petey Halpin, who sounds like a pretty good fit. “Petey, we take things very seriously in the majors, buddy.”
Donovan Walton – Did you know that his family, the Waltons, own a farm and raise Tamagotchi pets? I am a gossip lover. Did you also know that Walton has six career homers? Starting in 2019!
Royce Lewis – If I thought there was a chance that Lewis would be more available, I would have made him the leader this week. I would imagine he’s not available in the shallow leagues, but, even then, he shouldn’t be. Must be 100% registered. If he’s adjusted in some way, he could be a top 50 overall player.
Cooper Pratt Here’s what I said when he called, “Well, I said they’re going to call someone who hopes they’ll give her a multi-year deal, only I said Lara, not Pratt. Lara? Pratt? Where’s Heidi and LC? She’s writing Pratt on my FAAB bids like I’m voting for LA Mayor. Finally, someone in LA wants to be exposed soon, Lara; Lara’s only going to break up with Prayti! they still have Garrett Mitchell sucking the numbers of MiLB: 6/17/.244 with 14.3 K% and 13.2 BB% on speed, and the occasional homer, as he couldn’t even hit for a good average in Triple-A.” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Blaze Jordan Here’s what I said when he was called, “Just Blaze went 11/2/.313 in Triple-A with 7.5 BB% and 11.5 K. He should have power and average in the majors as well. Think 25/.260-.270. Basically, NoGo for average. Call him MoGo–That’s Blaze, actually.” And I’m the one you’re quoting!
Kyle Karros – It was a good week for popo babies. Karros and Clemens are booming, while Martinez and Lewis, the offspring of a great comedy team.
Tyler Callihan – He started with a bang. In fact, it’s a double bang. Hit his 1st homer the same game as his 2nd homer. And that was a jump in place. Don’t think there’s a ton here for long, but, while Oneil Cruz is out, Callihan has been playing and hitting. Oneil…Callihan…Pirates yo ho ho with a bottle of rum and a pint of Guinness.
Cole Carrigg – Moved on to the same post as my Braden Montgomery legend. Go there, and read that.
Jung Hoo Lee – He and Matt Chapman have been the hottest hitters in June, and there are two more names for you, which I don’t think are available in any league, so we’re moving.
Jason Dominguez – Similar to Royce Lewis, if I thought Dominguez was available in multiple leagues, I would highlight him more. They should be included in all leagues in the future. He’s a 20/20 guy hitting in the middle of a depleted Yanks lineup (and a nice park).
Ryne Nelson – This is a Streamonator call. Like the call she made to the Dish Store.
Zac Gallen – This is also a Streamonator call. “I was born in a container and it wasn’t fun.”
Alex Lange – The Royals’ closerousel is rolling. Carlos Estevez goes up, Estevez goes down, Lucas Erceg goes up, Erceg goes down, Alex Lange goes up, Lange goes down. Maybe Daniel Lynch IV can get on one of those carousel benches and not on a horse.
Elvis Alvarado – I keep giving you A’s closest lottery tickets every week, hoping one will stick but so far that hasn’t happened. Maybe it will be this week, unless it’s a little bit, and Elvis was closing because they’re in Vegas.
Yoendrys Gomez – A great example of what we believe in Alvarado. For about six weeks, it seemed like the twins would never get closer, Gomez became that boy.
Jacob Webb – Only the closest fill this week is Webb. Don’t get me wrong, Yoendrys should be registered, but he should have been registered three weeks ago; Lange should have been drafted two weeks ago and Elvis is AL-Only. Webb actually has a chance to be picked this week (especially in the weekly contests that are competitive this Sunday) and he should be. I saw speculation about Caleb Thielbar as well. Phil Matton? Actually, I like my Maton empty, thank you.
Didier Fuentes – No, I don’t think he’s taking over from Strider. I mean, maybe, and, if he did, he would be again, but that’s because he’s a lightsaber. He’s just black! Wait, that’s a bad use of my thesaurus, isn’t it? It’s off! Bad! The same name! You know I love Didier, but he actually looked good enough to warrant that love in the middle relief.
Sell it
Wyatt Langford – Since they are always tied together, like the new version of Cody Bellinger and Christian Yelich, this will be Jackson Merrill Sell as well. A rare double sale. It’s rare because it takes all my energy and only one out of three ‘perts can sell twice and get out alive! Wish me luck! Langford first: Injuries and one of the worst parks Fantasy Baseball Overlord has ever spit out. What do you expect from Langford? 15/15/.260? Could that happen in a 12-team mixed league? Not rhetorical, I’m honestly wondering. Maybe he’s hot, then he gets hurt again? Guessing on injuries is hard, so I’m going to be selling a lot because he seems to be a little hot so maybe you can get something. As for Jackson Merrill, so, like, intervention, he wasn’t that good, right? That’s what we got, right? We are like a bunch of raccoons, that is, the Magellans of scavenging. I honestly don’t know what you can get from Merrill, but maybe someone in your league still believes. I wouldn’t trade Wyatt Langford or Jackson Merrill for a ticket to see a World Cup that is the world’s best defensive title, but I would go to the Fantasy Baseball Trade Analyzer and explore the options.
